As an only child I’ve been used to being on my own, but still, that wasn’t being alone. Oh no, I had imaginary friends, toys by the box load, and family always around. But still loney.
Its difficult to explain as sometimes its a feeling that occurs when you can be surrounded by people, at a party, or amongst friends.
Its a feeling and the knowledge that some of the people around you don’t understand you, and that the connections between you aren’t as strong or are fading. This can be from something as simple as you’ve grown older and you and your best friend from primary school and yourself don’t have that much in common anymore or you are unable to spend the sufficient amount of time with someone to enable that bond and connection to really know each other, and its difficult for you to understand why. Unfortunately sometimes thats just how it is.
Being able to be happy in your own company is a big skill you should learn as an adult. Many people can do this already, and I’d love to admit I have it down to a tee, but no I dont.
I too am hanging to the adolescent notion that I should be out doing things all the time, experiencing things and being around people, having a good time hanging out , having fun in general. The knowledge that you should savour your younger years, cruelly, only becomes apparent when it has passed you by. The burden of bills, work, family (not necessarily in the negative sense but in terms of responsibility) and adult life including all that comes with it.
Do not let it get you down.
If you want to go and jump in muddy puddles with the kids but you have that ironing to do, fuck it, go out and do it. That experience will build that bond between you and the children, its what you wanted and the best thing is its fun! I’m not saying if its raining leave the office and get soaked, i’m not sure your boss will be too pleased, but sometimes by over thinking things it makes them worse. Make peace with what you have to do in life, bills and such like , but don’t let it get you down.
Snuggle that teddy, watch that Rom-com, punch that bag, run that treadmill, bake that cake and eat it (not all of it, sharing is caring) just make sure the time you get with people is good quality, and that romance your getting over, thats okay, you will get over it. You miss them? Thats okay to miss them. They’ll miss you too (yes even if they hate your guts, they will reminisce about you), you did something bad (hopefully not too bad, I don’t condone that shit), get over it, forgive yourself and get on with improving it. Most of our time is spent through guilt and wishing time away. That friend you wanted to talk to ages ago, but you were too tired or worked late, pick up the phone (Not facebook, not twitter, vocalise with someone!), meet them for lunch, at the least send them a text, let them know you want that connection, as a human they will want that connection too, they will appreciate it. If they want that connection, they will answer, if not, move on. How many billion people are there in the world.
We are a nation desperate for connections, look at how many friend requests we get on facebook and how amazing we feel when our amount of “friends” go up….but are they friends? No, and we think they are. We lose sight of what friends are now and real connections are important.
So make a connection, build that bond, pet your dog, hug your mother, wave at that stranger, kiss your partner, call your friend.
Its okay to be alone…but in reality there is always someone close by.
Be happy with who you are and dont worry so much.
Be on your own for a bit and build a connection with yourself. Know what you want, who you are (not what you do, that doesn’t define you)Thats the first and best connection you should make…then work your way forward from there.
(p.s A film that inspired me to write this was “Eat, Pray, Love”. Enjoy)